Monday, April 16, 2012

It's a BIRD!!

"Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad."
--Larry David

Okay, folks. Forget Motivation Monday. I have big news on the bucket list. BIG NEWS, I say.

Anyone who has spent any time with me outdoors knows I have a problem with birds. A phobia even.

See, I had this sweet pet lovebird when I was young. His name was Bo, and I loved him lots. Bo liked to fly around the house and perch on the highest point in the room. Usually that was the ceiling fan.

Well, one ill-fated day, Bo flew up to the ceiling fan when it was on. He was knocked down the hall and was never the same. After that, he attacked any hand that came close. He wouldn't just peck; he would clamp down and twist, causing serious pain.

From that day on, I have been completely terrified of birds. I think they're pretty, and I have lots of pictures of them in my house. But I think they're gross and out to get me, what with all that chirping and swooping.

Well, a neighbor-friend asked me to do some work for his company (yes, I actually do work. Shocker, I know!). As a neighbor, we cut up, but now that he's paying me for editing services, I felt as if I needed to dress/act professionally for a meeting at his office. I even applied makeup for our meeting.

So I go in prepared to talk shop. The kind professional at the front desk escorted me to his office and I sat down across from him at his desk. Then I looked up and saw this:

Are you kidding me?! Are you kidding me?!
I met Elvis the bird. He was perched not 5 feet from me face, so I was torn: Do I freak out and tell my neighbor-friend that we must abort the mission because I am having a panic attack, or do I push through the phobia so we can conduct our business and I can get the heck out of there?

Here comes the BIG NEWS part: 

I managed to maintain my composure for a whole hour so we could discuss business. The bird stared at me, ruffled his feathers a few times and plotted to kill me at a later date, but he pretty much kept to himself.

As soon as I closed my notes on the meeting, I shared with my neighbor-friend my problem with his bird . . . which he found amusing.

I don't think I can check #21 off the bucket list just yet. But I am definitely one step closer.

My next step is to head to the zoo to feed the Lorikeets. Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia has a Lorikeets exhibit where you walk in with a cup of nectar, and the birds are free to attack you (I mean, fly to you) to get the nectar.

I'm hoping to post on that soon!

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