Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's a Bird. It's a Plane. It's #28 . . . Check

"I always admired Wonder Woman and the Incredible Hulk - but I don't know if I'd be a very convincing hulk."
--Lucy Liu

I haven't exactly been myself lately. I've felt worn out and overwhelmed. I'll chalk it up to cold (for South Carolina) weather and missing Grandmama. So when a talented artist offered to create a comic likeness of me as a superhero, it was a welcome diversion.

The artist is Michael Ramova of Chicago, Illinois. He and I have never met, but he asked a bunch of questions about me and managed to create a pretty convincing likeness of me. Therefore, I am checking off #28 on the bucket list.

I mean, the hair color is spot on. The super-me even has cowlicks, which I did not share with Michael and would have been okay with had he left them off. My eyes are blue. I have dimples. The boobs are giant. My waist is, in fact, 10 inches. And I strike that pose on a weekly, if not daily, basis (usually when I'm sitting on the couch with wet fingernails and I use my foot to reach the remote on the end table next to me).

All joking aside, it's kind of fun being a cartoon superhero. She's kind of my alter ego. When KB doesn't feel up to tackling a job, Super KB (I need to work on that name) totally does it for the good of all humanity (usually Stephen and the kids). KB doesn't feel like making dinner? No sweat, Super KB's got it covered! 

Faster than the drivers in the right-hand lane.
More powerful than 2 kids on steroids for croup.
Able to leap tall flights of stairs (as long as she goes slow and there's a handrail).

Seriously, help me out with the name. Anything better than Super KB?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Photo Shoot Gone Bad

"Life is not significant details, illuminated by a flash, fixed forever. Photographs are."
--Susan Sontag

I hardly have any pictures of Stephen and me alone.

Now I remember why.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Item #22 . . . Check!

“Bouncy trouncy flouncy pouncy, 
fun fun fun fun fun."

I traveled to the Upstate with Jack this weekend to the state championship swim meet. He swam in two events and got his best times in each event.

Sooooo . . . 

We jumped on the bed in our hotel room to celebrate. It was fun and exhilarating and exhausting. And at times it was scary, because any time I jumped up, my head came dangerously close to crashing into the ceiling. But we had a blast, and for a brief period of time, I was the coolest mom on earth. 

I highly recommend it . . . in a room with higher ceilings.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Where's My Mojo?

The only routine with me is no routine at all.

--Jackie Kennedy

It feels pretty good to be able to sit and blog again. I figured I better do it today, since I hit the road again in the morning.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks, and I seem to have misplaced my bloggy mojo.

I'm sure it's because I've been running around doing a million different things, and I haven't been able to focus on any one thing long enough to write about it. Things are getting ready to get back to normal around here, though, and I'll be thankful for some kind of routine again.

I'm hitting the road with Jack tomorrow for the Short Course State Swim Meet. He qualified in two events, which we're super proud of. So it's off to Greenville in the morning. I only have one video of him swimming, because I can't film during a race. It's probably for the best too. Once he's in the water, I turn into hillbilly mom. I really try to stay quiet, and I know he can't even hear me because his ears are in the water most of the time, but I feel like my cheering him on really motivates him to swim faster (it also annoys the poor souls sitting around me). Can't be helped.

This video doesn't include sound, so don't fiddle with your speakers. 
(The guy who put it up clearly knew what he was doing.) 
Jack finished third in this particular race.

Stephen and Mo are staying behind to attend the local Father-Daughter Dance, so I hope to have some fabulous pictures of that to share.

I also will be checking another item off the bucket list on Monday. Be excited!!!

Until we leave tomorrow, I'm trying to find songs to add to Jack's pre-race playlist. 
Any suggestions?

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Old Age Ain't for Sissies

I am not afraid of aging, but more afraid of people's reactions to my aging.
--Barbara Hershey

Note: This post is a paid sponsorship, but all opinions are 100% my own. 

Jack brought a book home from the library this week that is an encyclopedia of every gross function or characteristic of the human body. It covers everything from vomit to poop, and it's completely disgusting. So of course, we all read it voraciously. It's sad because it's true.
Jack thinks there is no greater insult than to tell Mo that she has a "zit." (Any bump on the skin qualifies.) And Mo loves to remind Jack that he will one day have hair in his pits. 

Apparently, in their eyes, all grown-ups with completely normal body functions are just big containers of nasty.

And when I think about it, I almost have to agree. Why does getting older have to be so hairy and smelly and saggy? My Dr. Pepper addiction has done nothing to help whiten my teeth, and I have to admit that I don't shave my legs as much as I probably should because it's such a pain.

Check out this image.
It discusses how skin care has changed through the years.
Exfoliating with sandpaper? No thanks.
So when the folks at Syneron Beauty asked me to look into their Tanda line of products, I was intrigued. They offer anti-aging light therapy products, teeth-whitening implements, acne removal products and permanent (really? You promise?) hair removal technology.

I wouldn't run right out and buy all of the products at once (they range in price from $49 to $395), but it sure is nice to know things like that exist. I'm saving up for the mÄ“ elos professional hair removal system. Imagine never having to shave again. Glorious!! And maybe I can pick up something for acne removal while I'm at it. Then Jack and Mo will have a weapon in their arsenal when puberty hits.

And since they offer a money-back, risk-free guarantee, the prospect of forking over over $300 is a lot less intimidating.

Then maybe my kids won't see growing up as a fate worse than a week with no video games.